C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
