i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
