I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
