The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
