OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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