I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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