what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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