Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
