I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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