Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
