Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
A+ Viking dick
Randomize
