forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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