You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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