he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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