Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
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God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
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Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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