im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize