Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is Oprah even human
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
