She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
