Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
