you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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