So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
