break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
