i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
