We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I wear drunk well.
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