And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
