i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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