I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate