there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
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I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
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Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well