wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.