I just made out with a guy for $7.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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