I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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