the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
