you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
