thus making me awesome and them whores
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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