i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
