Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
