Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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