South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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