My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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