so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Randomize
