Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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