She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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