It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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