Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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