My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
