I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
