Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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