3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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