There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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