We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
okay pat passed out under dana's car
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
