Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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