where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
