Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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