its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
