you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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