I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
