You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
