The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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