when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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