so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
These tits shall not be calmed
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
