put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
