ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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