Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
