I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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