i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
